Obituaries

Eulogy: Ladies and gentlemen, family, friends, and members of the community, We gather here to celebrate the life of Donald Joseph Doupe. To all who were able to come here today, a sincere thank you for the warmth of your presence. For this ceremony, we are joined by many others who are separated by distance, circumstance, or health, but are with us in spirit, thoughts, and heart. The following remembrance is a collaboration from Donald’s children -- Melissa, Paul, Leah, and Andrea. ----------- Having grown up in a small-town during the pre-internet era, our childhoods were populated with activities that are no longer very common but seemed to be ubiquitous for many young people during that time period. As such, our upbringing was punctuated by small personal interactions with our community; whether it be canvassing for fundraisers by travelling door-to-door, gathering sponsorship signatures for charity marathons, negotiating the sale of Girl Guide cookies, or undertaking our first job experience by delivering for a newspaper route. It was during these face-to-face communications we might be asked the question, “Say, would your dad happen to be Don Doupe?”, and when answered in the affirmative, the most frequent response would be, “I know your father, you know”. This might be followed up with a short story, or just a simple respectful nod; the tone might vary from jovial to matter-of-fact, from conspiratorial to proud. For the children of a man who did not speak often about his past, these snippets of insight were small treasured glimpses of how our father was reflected in the world outside our home. ----------- Donald Joseph Doupe was born on September 13, 1939 into a life populated by hearty but humble stock. His grandfather, Thomas John Doupe, had been a soldier in the previous World War. While serving over two years on the front lines, grandpa Thomas endured a gunshot wound to his left arm, had survived two separate gas attacks, and would return to the field hospital once more in order to heal from shrapnel wounds. Each time, he would return to the fight. Under the banner of the 28th Battalion, he would go on to storm Vimy Ridge in that historic battle. You would think this anecdote would be a well-known family story, polished and handed down during get togethers with friends and relatives. However, there are members of the family who will likely be hearing this tale of duty and heroism for the first time. That’s because when our great-grandfather Thomas was picked up at the train stop in 1919 to return to his Stratton, Ontario farm, he left his deeds of service behind him on that station platform. His experiences only came to light for us last year, when our brother Paul was researching Canadian military records from World War One. Like his grandfather before him, our Dad sometimes seemed larger than life to us, but he could be frustratingly difficult to pin down when the questions were focused on his own history. ----------- One thing he could not hide about himself was his height; at 6 foot 4, and with a musculature to match, Don was built (we would often hear) like a brick out-house. Our Uncle Danny delighted in regaling stories to us about our Dad’s performances in sports. They were tales of seemingly effortless athleticism, such as a baseball game where he hit for a ‘cycle’ (which we would learn was when a batter hits a single, a double, a triple, and a home run all in the same game). One particular memory is Dad wandering into the room while, much to his visible chagrin and consternation, our Uncle Danny was recounting another feat of physical prowess. The incident this time described Dad routinely jumping over the fence to go catch balls that had been slammed for a homerun before they could hit the ground, just for the simple principle of it. Seeing the figure of intimidation that was our father get flustered and rumble out, “Gee willikers, that’s enough of that!” was a source of secret glee (and mild terror). There were other stories we would hear, whether volunteered by strangers, or overheard while eavesdropping on older relatives. As Dad often avoided engaging on the topic, some of these narratives could not be ascertained as to whether they were truths being hidden behind his everyday life, or if they were simply the embellishments of local legend that tends to be brewed in small town coffee shops. So as much fun as it is to speculate whether Don Doupe had put professional football player Bronko Nagurski "on his arse" during a bar room brawl at the old Rex Hotel, or if it was true that he had stopped a train by laying down on the tracks during the Boise paper mill strike of 1978, the remainder of this eulogy will be based simply on what we know about the man for sure. ----------- We can tell you that our Dad liked tending to his gardens; having the occasional fishing trip; eating our Mom’s cooking; and music from the 60’s. He enjoyed catching ‘the game’ on TV whether it be football, baseball, or hockey. He was known for sneaking spearmint gummy candies; for his use of the word “tremendous”; and for holding any baby the instant the little one had crossed onto his threshold. We can tell you that Donald Doupe was a man who lived by the philosophy that it is the duty of the strong to lift up those who do not have the power to lift up themselves. As he grew up, the strength he exhibited would become a defining trait throughout the rest of his life. It was a strength not just in the physical sense, but a force of character and resilience that he would conscientiously apply in service to his family, to his church, and to his communities. Despite his sometimes formidable presence, Don was a humble soul who preferred the quiet dignity of leading by example. His adherence to traditional Catholic values was the instrument by which he navigated life. Faith was not just a word to Donald, but a guiding force that shaped his actions, decisions, and interactions. His commitment to various charitable causes reflected the core values he held dear. He was a man who didn’t pursue greatness, only goodness. He taught us that true greatness lies not with the grandiose, but in the everyday acts of service and humility that define a life well-lived. He would channel his assistance to others through organizations like the Knights of Columbus, and through his own individual acts, such as his decades of blood donation to the Red Cross. It gives us comfort to realize that, even if you had never known Donald Doupe, there was still a chance that your life had been made a little bit better by him. ----------- Our Mom was his counterpart and reflection in much of their involvements, whether it be in the secular community or in the Church. There was a wonderful warmth in witnessing the obvious fondness our Dad had for Mom. They were an amusing mix of shared values and contradictory natures, that often had them clash in bouts of good-natured teasing. Despite this playful exasperation between them during their six decades of life together, it would be difficult to find a couple more affectionately devoted to one another than Don and Adele. We were blessed to be children under their roof. In closing, we will take this opportunity to express our gratitude to the man who was our father. Your steadfastness and your character kept us grounded. You stood up as our protector when life got overwhelming. When you no longer needed to have us by the hand, we knew you’d always have our back. You inspired us to strive forward, and we are thankful to have had your influence in our lives. We love you, Dad. As we entrust Donald Joseph Doupe into the arms of God for his eternal rest, we hope that all who knew him may continue the lessons that he embodied – the strength to confront adversity, the humility to walk in grace, and the commitment to values that endure through generations. Amen.